Y'all are killing me with the O'Brien quarterback takes

                                                        (I googled this one, too)

One of the narratives that has really bugged me this offseason, as the Texans embark on yet another season looking for an answer at the quarterback position, is how poorly Bill O'Brien evaluates, and coaches quarterbacks.

No cute set-up for this one, let's dive right the fuck in...

Great Quarterbacks and/or prospects who the Houston Texans have passed on acquiring in the draft and free agency with a legitimate chance at acquiring in the Bill O'Brien era:

Jimmy Geronimopoligos: Sure he has only started 2 NFL games (2016), but he showed hella promise in those outings, with a completion percentage of 68.3 and a quarterback rating of 90, if you're into that sort of thing.

IF you believe the rumors, Bill O'Brien was pretty high on Jimmy Goppyole heading into the 2014 draft, but the team went with a guard instead at pick #33, Xavier Su'a-Filo, who is fast approaching bust-levels IMO, but still holding a starting position on the offensive line. You can call this a miss, but after just two games, we really do not know. Worth a revisit down the line.

Derek Carr: He has become a good starter for the Oakland Raiders, but I have a hard time evaluating him in terms of being a miss for the Texans in the 2014 draft, as it seems highly possible (and “Fact” to some) that Texans ownership pretty much had a no-Carr policy for the 2014 draft.

Great Quarerbacks and/or prospects who the Houston Texans have taken in and turned into hot garbage:

There are none. Ryan Fitzpatrick. Brian Hoyer. Ryan Mallett. Brock Owillie..........

AM I FUCKING MISSING SOMETHING WITH THESE QUARTERBACKS!!!?

(just assume I'm yelling and cursing every other word in this following paragraph):

Has the history of their quarterback greatness escaped me? Do I just know so little about the quarterback position that I don't recognize their pre-Texans existence as being nothing short of elite? Were they just tearing up the league before being dumped into free agency, or traded for a late round pick, but came to Houston to have O'Brien get his hands on them and turn them into, into, into WHATEVER THE FUCK IS REALLY BAD AFTER BEING REALLY GOOD!?

Come. The. Fuck. On.

Truly, I don't know if Bill O'Brien is good at coaching quarterbacks, or evaluating them. I do know that his offense has left me scratching my head most of the past three years, and that though I do believe his trust in Godsey was a huge problem, he HAS to shoulder a lot of blame for that offense. And no, I'm not going to give Bill O'Brien an award for getting decent seasons out of Fitzpatrick and Hoyer. Whatever. That doesn't tell me a helluva a whole lot. But this crap about the quarterbacks? What's YOUR fucking answer? What SHOULD they have done? Here let me answer it for you: THERE IS VERY FUCKING LITTLE THEY COULD HAVE DONE.

“Well that idiot should have signed Michael Vick instead of Fitzpatrick, that's what shoulda happened ra rarrrrrr alskdjer'apolsudj'pfkjaxd.

Soaisdrf.” NO NO NO

STOP IT.

It's fucking dumb.

Thanks.